I don't want to do this phase....

It's been a year.
A year since shit hit the fan for my health.
I often still get the "You're okay now though, right?"
No. Unfortunately, no.
The surgery I had last spring took away one annoying thing, not the diseases. Not the pain. Nothing else has changed. I have been in a doable spot with all my conditions and have only been managing them with natural supplements, zero big pharma. It was a goal I had & met. Some days are better than others, but overall it has been manageable.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have oral surgery.

After a bunch of expensive, but very neat scans done on cool new technology at the dentist, a plan was devised to move forward. We started this journey a year ago. Over a year ago, really. November of 2018 I had 3 crowns in 30 days on my back molars (I do not have wisdom teeth). I clench & grind (likely due to pain and stress) in my sleep. My back molars are the first point of impact. They have scalpeled my tongue, abused my cheeks, and all of my back molars are cracked into quarters. This also sends a constant nuero output for my Trigeminal Nerve. This makes my trigeminal nueralgia always on point. My right side is the TN side.


On my right side last January, my crown broke & took part of my tooth with it. It was over the weekend & Sunday night I got the stomach flu. The acid from that ate away whatever was keeping my nerve from being exposed. I was in so much pain I almost involuntarily kicked the hygienist and the dentist who was trying to put a sealant on it come Monday morning. They determined they did not want to mess with the tooth without input from a neurologist. I do not go fully numb & dental work is always bad.



If you recall from THIS POST, the neurologist was a total waste of time & an infuriating human who refused to help the dentist at all. So we moved on without her. I got my hysterectomy surgery, my knee injury happened, we paid those off, then went back to get the scans at the dentist.

7mm airway

The scans showed quite a few things. They showed that my tongue placement is pushing my front teeth forward and causing an open bite. They showed that my jaw is off kilter. They showed the wear and tear on my back molars. They showed that my airway was half as open as it should be. We
ordered a sleep study, the sleep study place set my file aside because there wasn't enough info attached for them to actually read my case & schedule me (is basically what I was told on the phone). My deductible and out of pocket were met for 2019, they still haven't called to set that up even after calling them and giving them more info, it has been 3 months. We decided to move on without them.
(Seriously guys, I pay for private health & dental insurance, I pay all my bills up front or in a very timely manner & its been over a year of waiting in line to be considered. Every step of the way has been waiting, waiting to see what's wrong, waiting to see if something can be done, waiting for someone else to consider my case, waiting to be bad enough to move up in line, waiting, worsening, waiting, paying more and more while I wait.  I now no longer even work due to the compiling of health issues as a result. I wonder how social medicine would look? Worse? Better? I'm losing faith y'all. We are already way too much at the mercy of other's consideration.)

The problem tooth on the TN side.....
We have decided to remove it rather than recrown it. Recrowning would probably result in another crack and another crown and another and another. No one wants to mess with that trigeminal nerve more than once. Not me, not them, no one. We decided to remove that tooth and the matching one on the left side on the bottom. The hope is to make more room for my tongue, which would make a larger airway and in theory it would hopefully keep my tongue from pressing my front teeth out & help to correct the open bite, put less neuro output on that TN and overall be the better scenario.

So, here we go.... tomorrow.

I'm more than petrified, you see, I'm in a doable spot with the TN. I am big pharma free. Why? because those meds, I've tried carbamezopine, trileptal, gabapentin, baclofen, oxy, hydro, and a couple others. I cannot drive, I can not stay functional through the day on those. I nod off mid sentence, my memory is non existent, my speech slurs, I'm dizzy, nauseous & jittery, I have headaches and mood swings and gain wait at an alarming rate which sets off my PCOS & blood sugar issues. I am not the same person on those meds. I am not a productive member of society, I am not a good and present wife and mother. I waste away on the couch. I can not do it. I will not do it.

whatever they are promoting here, I don't take, but the description is acurate

What will happen if the tooth extraction messes with that trigeminal nerve? That nerve it sets upon? What has caused many people's TN in the first place? Dental work, crowns, root canals, periodontal work, tooth extractions. I am getting knocked out entirely at the oral surgery center for the work (I don't even go entirely numb at the dentist anymore), that I'm not nervous about, I'm scared to wake up after. I'm scared that that nerve will not quit firing. I'm scared the only thing I will be able to do is go back on the meds to try to get it under control again. I'm scared I will be like many others out there & never get it back under control regardless of med concoctions. I'm scared that the pain will be ever present & ever wearing after. There is a big chance that I will wake up & never be the same person, ever again. I'm petrified. It has to be done. My gums have started to grow over the top of the broken tooth, it is inflamed and will get infected. A tooth infection can cause a heart attack, systematic illness, sepsis, it can be fatal.

Send up prayers, send over good vibes, send whatever you do & whatever you've got. I'll absorb them & hope for the best. That's all there is at this point.

That's what's up with Kandi.